insomniac

INSOMNIA

Efek rumah kaca

Insomnia coba aku pecahkan sgala misterimu
Kunanti dan kucari seserpih mimpi

Ku rindu untuk bercumbu
Mesraan alam bawah sadarku
Kunanti dan kucari seserpih mimpi

Kaubunuh suhu di sangkar ku
Cuaca di tamanku

Gerimis datang
Musnahlah gersang
Ku tetap terjaga
Aku tetap terjaga

Habis terkuras
Kelenjar air mata
Ku tetap terjaga
Aku tetap terjaga

Insomnia…
Insomnia…

Kaubunuh suhu di sangkar ku
Cuaca di tamanku
Musim di kanvasku
Suhu di sangkarku
Cuaca di tamanku

-------

"With insomnia, you're never really asleep; you're never really awake." - Jack (fight club)

wht's tht grin for?

..circle of lunatics..
--------

....no sun no moon..
--------

Cat and dog

Since I became so lonely everytime i back home,I desperately want to have pet again.After my last cat died months ago,i considered not having some pets again around my house.
last night,my friend mitta promised me to give her baby kitten.That was great offer so far. Since my friend amrix hasn't given me any news about her project 'ngawinin kucing pasar sama kuscing persia dengan harapan anknya bakal jadi belasteran yang sangat oke' yang lately ditemukan kenyataan bahwa the persian cat amazingly was a fag cat. (homo)


Actually i secretely wants to pet a dog.Big fat dog like eun chan's ahjussi's dog in coffee prince serial.but yea.. tehre's a strict rule in my house about having a dog.hate tht much.
huahh.. maybe i'll have one when i've been somewhere out there someday.......


oh ya just try to listen anyway by telepopmusik.it's awesome... ;).

when it turns in to something blue

e m p t y

that is the most un-magnificent feelin' anyone can feel.
(or maybe just me actually)
it's like you wake up in the mornin' with something in mind hanging all day in your head,and those things are kindly bothering your sentimental feelin.And I always convince my self, it's gonna be okay soon. But sometimes when right in the moment you're feeling this, the most thing that you crave is something that could completes your scattered puzzle don't you?

----

and though sometimes it's really hard for us through every single day with
or every missunderstanding journey that we always met
and maybe all those ignorance behavior that we made
i won't lie that i always care
maybe it's best for us if i back away and leave...
----

Haunted symphony

#1
"you can run away
leave your books behind you
but you should look back twice
just to be on the safe side"
#2
"in a big, big way
i am really small
i get off my feet
but i'm still distant"

mew - 156
can't get the chorus out of my head

"don't you just love goodbyes?..."
na na na na na..........

----
(Can't get this tune out of my head)

good bye my donkey * :'(

Leptop saya hilang.
Iya my fake mac is gone, hilang, Lost, missing or what so ever the name.

agh,and now im too depressed to say any words or blow something up...:'(
sometimes it still feels so unreal,and my heart is really not good about it.
i feel fvckn upset!
I know,there would be some purposes or something behind this lost..
i'm surely does,..
But i try super hard to take this easily..
yea,I've been through so many kind of loss..
and i know,i should be okay facing this, no matter what..


but....oh....,i put like loads of treasures in there,my works, my mp3s, my .......... !
im sure you absolutly know how it feels if you lost something that u care the most don't you?
geez,i have to stop this mourning syndrome!

so my first lesson tht i figured out is : BACK UP DATA is fataly a MUST!
* (donkey : my leptop. red)

CIGARO

So lastnight i hanged out with couple of friends at a very great place to 'thethek' (nongkrong in javanese),we chatted and laughed and talked about social shits in college ,and secretly discovered so many things tht we never knew before.haha and it was fun.
Didn't realize my friend has already eaten up bunch of cigarettes.Then suddenly i took one of his, and asked him to burn it.And i was acted freakishly 'pekok'.
Yes,Im not a smoker. And i wasn't acting to be a poser. I just wanna taste one full cigarette at that moment. (my first experience is when i was in first grade on hi school,i can only smoked about a half cigar,hahaha..yea pretty lame)

So then i smokeed...

smookeedd....

like a noisy boiling kettle (cuz i looked like an idiotic newbie, coughed all the time and they kept laughing me out ... geez,shut your freakn gob mates :P!)

it tasted pretty odd!
And till now im still couldn't understand whre's the pleassure of smokin cigar.
So im still straight on being a 'non smoking person'...
(or you can call me weirdo or geek or anything i dont mind..)

wht a weird day ever!

photo by : muzka.deviantart.com

TREVER HOEHNE

I just found this great photographer when i was really bored browsing links i saved in my bookmarks.have a look!!

and also he made this green patches..Aww so in love with his works!

when in the moment i feels im not me!

Sebelum ikutan kuliah SP Pengantar arsitektur (which is my third times) yang juga dosenya notabene adalah Pak Arman ,mantan dosen studio 6 saya (yang emg ud terkenal super strict,super lempeng dan super galau),dan berita ttg kelas saya yg terancam di black list gara2 murid2nya super kesed dan sakpenake dewe,udah kayak berita kristina menggugat cerai suaminya.(yeah,sampe tulisan ini diturunkan,nilai stupa saya belum keluar sodara sodara!)
saya sudah membayangkan bahwa untuk beberapa minggu kedepan,sore saya akan menjadi kelabu, air laut meluap, gunung - gunung mengeluarkan lahar, planet-planet kluar dari jalur orbitnya, para alien menyerang bumi dan tiba tiba ip saya 3!
bukan itu, intinya dari awal masuk kuliah pertama, cerita ttg how 'wonderful' my studio class is,sudah jadi intro yg cukup interesting untuk di bahas.(dan beliau selalu menyudahi ceritanya dengan kalimat "begitu kan mbak meidhan??" sembari memberikan secercah senyuman yang sangat manis kepada saya dan kembali melanjutkan ceritanya.WOW.. im doomed with pride in here..
But after second time,third times i attended his class,im so enjoying his lessons.The way he thinks about something,about future,about how should ppl face the universe dan segala tetek bengek kehidupan di dalamnya... it's pretty good for the ppl who had "fun seekers mentaly" from the day i'm out from my mum's vag like me!
Though im still can't accept his ryhme of thought in several points,but his thinking always make any sense.I always walked out from class with something in mind.. to be wondered,to be absorbed.
And yes,i won't skip his class for no reason,cuz i know i would get nothing but useless afternoon,and it's pretty meaningless.

Saya jadi merasa hidup saya selama ini hanya sekedar big hole!total zero.Im just a total crap.
Ga ada yang saya produce dari hidup saya selama ini,besides sucking my dad's money, fatal slacker, great procrastinator,and a compaliner ! dang.. i feel like shit!
And when something doesnt goes well like wht i want,mourning and moaning always be the first things i do!ARRGGHhhh i cant stand it any longer!i feel such a lame!And im not happy about it..
Mungkin yang bisa saya lakukan dekat2 ini adalah memaksa otak saya untuk bisa membatasi apa-apa saja yang kiranya cukup penting untuk menghantui fikiran saya.cause yes,those junkthoughts always ruining evrything i planned.
I' just want me to be one step better.Ternyata setelah difikir2 impian saya kedepan banyak sekali.Dan saya rasa stuck dengan masalah-masalah saya sekrang ini ga bakal ngedeketin saya dengan mimpi2 saya itu.
Dan thing to do list saya yang pertama adalah..

MOVE ON!!!

all you can do is just slap me and tell,easy isn't it?

maaf jika terkadang menjadi teramat menyebalkan dan sama sekali tidak peka
that was just the way how the operation made me..
i didn't mean it..
seriously..