sometimes i really need to get my ass out of my comfort zone -----
anyway, Happy early new year everyone.I know i wouldn't say it right on time cause i would be sleepin and won't notice whrn new year is happening.. :P (it's not really important thing anyway)
Yeay,it's already in the middle of december,which means"janvier" or january will come really soon.Naah,I'm not waiting for nu year events or some stuff related,but I've got plans in january.So im craving december will end up really soon.. Anyway,I've been leaving campus for quiete long time,hm.. i mean I've been too often skipping my classes lately."lagi gak fokus nih",yea I always use those words to describe my disability to push down my laziness.. and dang!! those thingy is total disaster for my future.
This is where I spent almost all of my "lazy times" and "hard working times" on last couple of months (tp spsertinya banyakan ngabisin waktu untuk soemthing pointless-nya daripada usefullnya :P)
Ok, I should back to my work now.. site plan and stuff have been awaits me.. (wtf!) have a good day folx..!
have you ever felt like have billion things in ur head but when u want to blow it, then accidentally you cant! and it became pretty lame when you pushed yourself so hard to keep it spoken still?? Im sure you have,right..?right...?right...?? Saya pas banget lagi dalam keadaan kayak gitu.sumpah aja.. and it feels so friggin terrible. .............. ,,, .................. ,,, ................ geez.. what the hell am I suppose to writee anyway?? no point at all!
I'll close this crap with some tunages that haunted my playlist lately! 1. The Album leaf - Broken Arrow 2. Mattias IA Eklundh - Father 3. Slipknot - before I forget 4. weezer - dreamin 5. Coldplay - lovers in japan 6. Jason mraz - lucky 7. Sigur ros - Inn Í Mér Syngur Vitleysingur 8. Less than jake - Gainesville Rock City 9. Eric johnson - cliffs of dover 10. Sigur ros - Suð í eyrum 11. Foo fighter - the best of you
So, it's been a while i left this blog cold, since my last few posts were just like a glimpse. And the important thing that i should remember now is I should end this "writing crap things" (mark tht with a red stabilo and bold it) immediately, cuz my duty of being a 7th- semester- procrastinator who has a dream to graduate next year barengan sama ank2 yang dimana tugas2 nya selalu udah jadi H min sehari paling mentok, dan bukan orang2 sperti saya yang selalu saja mefet nggarapnya.. . (wow, i should perpare a super tall chair to be equal with them :p)
My last jam session with my buddies didn't goes really well. my voice was like a bullcrap, and I sung like a hungry sheep. Geez.. i think it turned to be like this because i can't wisely organize my time.Made my health dropped,and harmed my voice like this.Oh it's shitty man..! Like lately, im so addicted to Guitar hero 3. Yea,, and it's like "that thing" really sucked my times everyday from i wake up till my eyes begin to force me to shut it down cause it cant stand any longer facing those moving buttons, keep blinking on the screen. (But seriously, you should try this game, it's totally fun for ppl who take their breath with music in life. And some of my favs are Social distortion- story of my life - tier 1, slipknot - before i forget - tier 7,and eric johnson - cliffs of dover, tier 8. Yes,the last one is best.I could beat 'em in medium. Havent tried it on hard level and expert. Need extra finger to complete it, seriously... :P),, Anyway,, so people, stop me pleasee!!
The only entertainment in my house right now is just my PC.and long time passed,it became pretty sucks. Since the TV is broken and get it fixed,I can't watch cable.So I spent my whoole time only in my room.And now Im gettin freakn' bored.I should re decoreate my room sometime.I have loads of printed photos tht still in box.Maybe i could use it later to paint the blank wall..
Ok, Maybe i should quickly choke this craps writing off.
P.S : Btw I really hate being in this un-static, indefinitive, doubtful, and tiring relationship. I don't know what should I take,what should I do or what should I feel.It's really unclear..!Really want to move on. but those lil conversations always whizzing in my head.Damn.. sometimes I just want to point my finger to my self and laugh me out cause being this pathetic.Gosh,why I cant be so mature in this kind of thingy.. it's like i've been cursed or sumthing.haha.. I just want.. hff... .Kadang saya udah ga bisa percaya lagi dengan prinsip 'let it flow aja deh'. Cause flowing in the same river without finding the ocean is just a total waste.Mubeeenng aja ikut aliran tanpa ngerti mo dibawa kamana.. Hey you, just tell me what you want exactly.It will be so much easier to put myself right in a certain place and can do what I should do.. and don't let me tortured myself with this sweet hell dear. hahaha okay okay okay.. i think it will gonna be a long ass P.S if i still continuing this blahs... yaa.. I'm still on an effort to killing my sleepiness.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
And another btw is, maybe I should post something with quality in every post tht i post, than just crapping this blog around with bunch of my un important junkthoughts.Considering Im not that good at reviewing and discuss things and all of that.. but I'll still try it though.
There's been borders and there'll be boundaries and there's been times misdirection's found me There's been clear heads and there'll be clean slates and times we'd find we'd pass the night away thinking Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do That, that they do There's been new starts and there'll be no sleep and there's been times when inspiration's found me and there's been walls built and there's been worse days and times we'd find we spent the night awake thinking Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do Everyone here hates everyone here for doing the same thing that they do That they do All those people they keep watching me All those people (all those people) they hate me All those people they watch me All those people, yeah, just like me And there's been borders and there'll been boundaries And there'll be borders yeah there'll be boundaries 'Cause everyone here hates everyone here For what they do, for what they do (OH!) ----- everytime i hear this tune,my spirit always goes to pumpin'... rocks for persuing some great great future!
Hari ini hari jumat, ada kuliah thermal bu sugini jam 7.50. kuliah satu doang untuk hari ini, ngulang kedua kalinya soalnya taun kmaren baru dapet E. Karena ibu nya agk2 rada, jadi kudu ga bole telat. Lagian malu juga sama adek angkatan 2 taon.mbaknya ndablek nanti mereka kata. Bangun tepat pukul 7.. masih santai ,cek cek imel ,nyalain mp3.. (udah nyala deng). Karena mandi masi ngantri, ngajak maenn Timmy dulu, sembari cuci muka dan gosok gigi trus langsung mandi pake sabun wangi.. siul2.. santaaii tetep.. Pukul 7.30 udah rapi udah wangi dong. soalnya mandinya iwis2 doang jadinya parfum adalah jimat penolong yang tak bole terlupa.. manasin motor, pake sepatu trus ngasi makan timmy bentar.. masi siul2.. 7.56 sampe kampus.. dengan senyum terkembang nyapa ank2 yg ketemu diparkiran... 7.58 sampe lantai 2.. ktmu nanda yang dengan senyum sumringahnya berujar.. hai mba della.. kelas kosong ui!
Listening to this confusion tunage, in the edge of a seashore.. And sounds of wind that blows away the sand always tickling my ears.. silence and quiete.. and look! the sun is going down,peeking the green land from backside of the clouds... i'll never miss a perfect evening like this, still in the edge of a seashore..
I've postponed my survey for my studio class schedule until tomorrow morning cause of my poor health. and it's like i couldn't sleep and gettin' more and more insane cause feelin' this pain. And this uncomfortable dry air increase my boredom since i have to stay only right here in my crib! And I have to drink a lot more mineral water since then.. ( i hate mineral water taste in my bitter tounge) There's gonna be few posts soon, in the mean time here we go..let's play tag
I’m passionate about… - watch directly the whole world with my own eyes someday.. - join amazin race asia competition with my friend alfina (yeah, this have been our biggest dream since about when we were in high school ) - destroy my procrastinating habbit - having a cadillac tattoo in my back neck (impossible sekali sepertinya) - animal animal animaall.. !
Mostly I say… “whoaaa” “wew!!!!” “fuukkk” “yeaaaah!”
I've just finished reading… - sort of interior magazines for my interior design task (i have to make a lounge bar which is lil bit difficult since i'm rarely put my ass on the bar's chair!) - an indonesian hillariously freakin' cute comic book named si bundel
I love listening to… irish folk instrument, heart beating, suara gesekan 'cassette case' ketika di dikumpulkan menjadi satu di dalam box.
What my friends like about me… yang pasti bukan karena saya yang rajin, dermawan, ga pelupa dan cinta kebersihan.. lol
Last year I've learned… - chance to have second chance bisa di ukur dengan rasio 1 : 1000. (so don't ever EVER waste ur chance!) - failure could come not only once! - Take care of your loved ones. - menjadi baik sama sekali tidak akan pernah merugikan.walaupun keuntungan yang didapat tidak seperti apa yang kita perjuangkan.
ketika otak tiba-tiba disadarkan dengan rintihan suara salah satu panca indera yang sedang mengeluarkan egonya karena sang empu kurang begitu peduli merawatnya, menjadi sehat merupakan suatu anugerah tak tenilai yang akan selalu menyertainya..
dan sekarang saya sedang berusaha menikmati sebuah rasa yang sungguh dahsyat ini..
Oke,singkatnya saya dapet smcam PR beruntun dari semacam om om bernama koko. so here are 10 facts about a creature called me!
1. I addicted to Milk tea.I could spent loads of buck untuk nyobain smua milk tea dimana saja, dan kapan saja.
2. Saya suka mikir hal hal yang gak penting!Walaupun saya tau itu useless dan amat sangat time wasting.But those junkthoutghs suka dateng gitu aja sakpenak udelnya dan nyantol aja lama2 di otak.Dan mungkin itu juga yang bikin saya jadi terkesan moody an.. hm.then fuk i said,NEXT
3. Banyak yang suka complain ke saya, klo saya jarang suka bales sms/telpon ataupun menelpon orang, tapi sebel setengah mampus kalo saya sms ke orang, tapi ga di respon balik.hehe.. mbuh i'm not tht kind of telephony girl. Dan bentuk kepedulian saya terhadap orang lain mungkin tidak saya tunjukkan dengan cara ini. Jadinya ya bukan karena saya sok2an ataupun peliitt pulsa ataupun tidak care.I would give my attention with my own way.
4. I'm the greatest procrastinator on earth.penyakit saya sudah hampir sampai stadium lanjut. Dilihat dari sejarah keluarga saya,spertinya mereka termasuk tipe2 makhluk rajin dan cukup bisa memanage waktu mereka dengan baik.Tapi tidak dg saya.. and don't ask me why.Cuz im still clearly wondering with this shitty habbit!
5. Saya terobsesi kepengen punya ipod sejak dari kels 2 SMA, dan saya selalu mengurungkan niat buat beli mp3 player yang lain karena ya itu,saya maunya ipod(duh egoisnya). Tetapi ketika sekrang orang2 terdekat saya sudah mulai membelinya atau mendapatkanya secara free (damn u lucky bastrad!!), saya tak kunjung juga memilikinya.sungguh fuk!
6. i heart green! warna hijau yang hijaunya hanya saya yang bisa mendeskripsikanya.
7. Sometimes i always feel,beeing alone or solitude is a very priceless moment to be missed. Cukup sering saya merasa lebih enak menjadi seorang outsider dikerumunan orang yang tidak dikenal. Dan kadang pergi sendiri itu lebih menyenangkan darpada harus beramai2. Ya jadi tidak ada teman yang menemani ketika saya lagi butuh sesuatu di luar sana bukan sesuatu yang big deal buat saya.I'll still go with my self. Im not tht kind of girl who always whinning to all ppl to accompany me wherever i go. Yah kecuali untuk beberapa orang dan beberapa maksut tertentu.hahaha..:P
8. Banyak yang bilang saya termasuk orang yang cablak,dan suka asal ngomongnya. Dan kadang bikin orang sakit ati karenanya.But to be honest i really don't mean it. Amat jarang saya berbicara dengan sengaja yang dengan maksut untuk menyinggung orang lain. So.. yea saya suka bermasalah dengan habit satu ini. Karena tanggepan orang yang skadng salah, dan bikin responya jadi ga ngenakin ke saya, since they thought that i hurt their feelin.wew.. confusing!
9. I really do love reading.kaloo kata blind melon.. "And all I can do is read a book to stay awake And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape escape......escape......escape...... "
10. Saya selalu saja kagum dengan para seniman, penemu, designer, ilmuwan dan smua orang2 hebat itu.Dan pertanyaan saya selalu "kok bisa ya..??". and omiGod they rocks!
annnnnd done.. haha. So thx for reading this till the rest.Just wondering how could u didn't get sick read my craps from dusk till dawn.. haha so you also rocks dude!!
No, it's not another whinning I'm just feelin a lil' unwell tonite.. yes,only just a tiny lil' part of my self when accidently I desperately craving a moment a moment when i don't have to face what should i have to face a moment when I completely become so careless with anything or when i don't have to bring a bunch of junkthoughts in my sleepin'
ini hanya tentang malam dan selalu saja tentang malam
These were taken in front of telkom Kota baru,right after we grabbed some junks at mcd.And I went to my friend's brother's wedding before,so dont get surprised if you see im not wearing my "human" costume above. And tonite i feel so friggin weird and strange to my own self.dunno why.. just a hormonal syndrome i guess.. but holly molly it's a lil bit disturbing! Soundtrack of the day : green grass of tunnel - mum
Bukanya saya yang terlalu melebih-lebihkan atau apalah,cuman sepertinya menginjak umur saya yang udah g bisa dianggep "Oh ini lho cucu perempuan mbah amin yang imut ituh" lagi, pakde bude dan sodara2 saya sudah mulai memberikan wejangan wejangan yang cukup berbeda dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya.Dulu beliau2 selalu berpesan "yang pinter ya dek belajarnya,manut sama bapak ibuk,solatnya jangan bolong2 lagi, janga suka maenan diempang, itu ilernya dilap dulu ah.." dan segala pesan2 bijak orang tua kepada yang muda lainya.Dan ketika seorang "adek dela" yang udah menginjak semester tujuh,berkepala dua dan menjadi sosok yang berkarisma (weks) ketika ada pertemuan keluarga, pernyataan "ayo cpet lulus" dan "smoga cepet dapet jodo yah, trus langsung nikah",udah kayak suatu wacana wajib yang harus disampaikan! wew,kayak lulus dengan cepat, cari jodoh, sama nikah itu perkara gampang aja. huff.. sepertinya sindrom yang pnah dialami para mbak/mas pendahulu saya di keluarga ini mulai terasa di jiwa sanubari saya.Dan kalo udah gini saya selalu menjawab dengan senyuman simpul termanis sembari berujar.. "NEXT!" Tapi dibalik semua itu,saya yakin mereka menaruh peduli yang besar terhadap masa depan saya..x)
(Dan lucunya,sindrom seperti ini selalu saja ada dikeluarga manapun ya,hahaha :p)
So now here I'am in my momma's litte home town Ngawi (which is yang baru saya ketahui bahwa ngawi adalah kota melon :p).Panaas nya ampun2an dah.. desperately fvckn HOT! aura kasih aj kalah.. anyway.. di tempet adek spupu udah dipasang speedy ni.So i can still in touch with the world.Yippie KAyye! it's about 2.14 in the morning,dan kira2 3 jam lagi saya udah harus siap2 buat solat ied.keknya saya bakal pindah aja t4 tidur ke Alun alun!*sigh* 2.20 am,still couldn't sleep.And I'm totally jobless here.I texted anyone with anything tht poped in mind. But fuck with the connection!mostly some of my message stays pending.I always hate cellphone networks during the Ied's day!it become pretty sucks... 2.26 am It's like my tummy is craving something that i can bite and chew.. so im just like to find something to eat! happy ied's day amigo..!
------- Couple days ago when I was walking down the road from my house to the mosque at 1 am with my mother,I was gazing at the sky and accidentaly freezed by very beautiful star corps above. and I know it's just a lil' piece of God's creation..
Today's trip short story: Finally we (me, amrix and penjol) succeedly went to Boko temple . After every plans tht we've planned always ended up with 'wacana belaka yang tak kunjung terealisasi'. We started from my house around 3pm. (which our plan was 1 pm :P). We took lotta sluurpy pictures and we satisfied enough with the results,fully thanked for the perfect sky today x).Here are some of those..
(Huff,i've got trouble arranging these photos)
Yea, it's been a long time we haven't had fun together cause of our daily shits.When we were on our way back to town,suddenly name one of our hischool classmate poped out of our mind.his name is Ary.So amrx tried to reached him by phone.And he agreed to join with us.We decided to met at warung bu santi and then go potobox-ing after all.Finally, because i haven't scanned it yet, these are the other version taken by amrx's camera.we borrowed the good lighting and the solid background from studio.haha,, and it's quiete weird pose i guess... :P
------- Ps : Saya baru aj nge set in Ym buat bapak saya.And it was kinda weird had a chat with my father across the wall. hahahhaa *lol
Akhir akhir ini saya diterjang kebingungan teramat mendalam.Saya dihadapkan kenyataan bahwa saya sedang berhasrat sekali beli sneakers. Setelah mengajukan propoasal kepada pemegang subsidi keluarga,finally cairlah dana pembiayaan daripada proyek beli sneakers karena setelah ditelusuri lebih lanjut, memang saya jarang sekali beli sepatu :P (ah alesan). Lalu dimulai dari survey via internet.Semua situs2 penyedia gambar dan info sneakers pun saya kunjungi.(kok nyebai sue2 bahasane).Pokonya intinya karena asumsi saya, yang saya liat di inetrnet blm tentu ada di sini,akirnya gw (GW??) pen hunting scara nyata aja aliaas door to door dari sneaker store satu ke sneaker store lainya. Jadi setelah perjalanan panjang mengarungi bahtera pertokoan,beberapa kandidat yang uda saya hunting-ngi ada 4 - 5 sneakers yang sedikit banyak menggusik naluri saya buat menyuntingnya menjadi soulmate baru.. (oke i know tmbh nggilani bahasaku!biarlah) and here it some...
1. PUMA yang stocknya tinggal satu (itu aj pasanganya yang ada di display,wis lethek :< ) dan tinggal satu store aj di jogja yang punya.phew... Price : skitar 400bucks (asem!)
I also fell with this blue puma.But it might be super hard find it right here..
2. NIKE DUNK WOMAN (wmns autoclave) yang kata mas penjaganya baru dateng barangnya tadi pagi.Bagus sih..walaupun sdikit radak lebai modelny,kek model spatu olahraga bapak2 jaman dulu,cuman di re-desain lebih trendy. Logo nikenya warna biru agk shiny (not 'shiny' tht way :p). sayangnya gak nemu gambarnya di internet.cuman buat gambarannya ya mirip2 kek gini.. cuman lebih oke yang di toko... :D Pricre : 450 bucks (more asem)
(bayangkan saja bahan leather putih dengan logo nike biru nyala agk shiny :P )
3. MACBETH seri Elliot.Baru mo hunting besuk ke tetangga sebelah.Semoga saja seri ini ada juga disana.hahaha.. so cant talk much about 'em. :p dan smoga ukuran dan harganya ga ikutan2 sakit jiwa!
(Yeah ada yang ijo... SCOREE!! ;)
4. ADIDAS classic seri jogging. Apik,simple,old school banget.. loveeee it... cuman td g ada yang ukuranku.. :( (my size is 5,bukankah itu amat sangat common?) *sigh*
Price : 500bucks diskon jadi 300an.. (asem asem asem g da ukuranya!!)
i saw this cute purple classic adidas sneaker on https://www.size-online.co.uk/ yang hampir jelas bisa dipastikan susah nyarinya .super sigh!
5. VANS skater yang kalo di kampus, lumayan banyk yang make,cuman kok nyari gambarnya susah amat ni di internet.Bahan leather (or pleather dunno),with lil dots that filling the blank white leather on the top layer of the shoe... (imagine tht.. :p).Nemu di counter kappa Plasa ambarukmo lantai 3.Yang unfortunately smallest size nya 38.then FVK the size again i said! Price :200 bucks.. :'((
Sooo...these things confusing me enough.Selain karena dananya mevet.. ukuran sering ga ada dan lain hal sebagainya,Saya malah sempat kepikiran ga jadi beli spatu aja apa ya??Duitnya bisa dipake buat foya foya lah.. hhahhaha.... eer,ehhm.. no i mean... buat disumbang ke fakir miskin pengenya,,.. hehe hmm, dustaa banget ya... :P.Ga deng.. pokoknya hasrat yang ini harus tersalurkan.. no matter what... (selfishh!!) So the plan is, Directly after finishing my studio class, i will go to downtown with my ex girlfriend Amrx and she has promised me to help find wht's great for my feet.Actually she craves some footwear too.So we're gonna hunt together.
Lihat.. ketika kini kamu diuji lagi oleh Penciptamu,atas seberapa tamak dan egoisnya dirimu, apakah besok kau juga masih saja tidak ingin merubah pola fikirmu yang walaupun telah berkali-kali menyadari semua tingkah lakumu,tapi tetap saja membangkang dan selalu berfikir... "ah apa iya??" dan ketika sekarang "iya" itu telah berakibat buruk kepadamu dan terlebih keluargamu.. belum cukupkah Tuhan memeberi kehilangan2 itu agar hati kecilmu dapat terbuka sedikit lebih lebar..?
Maafkan aku Tuhan.. indeed! Dan jaga selalu kedua orang tuaku..
When these incidents seems like a great disaster for me I know it's just how the universe made me to be more and more complete or maybe this is wht it called fate to be faced like a spin tht stop in a roulette wheel in my grandma's old casino..
Since I became so lonely everytime i back home,I desperately want to have pet again.After my last cat died months ago,i considered not having some pets again around my house. last night,my friend mitta promised me to give her baby kitten.That was great offer so far. Since my friend amrix hasn't given me any news about her project 'ngawinin kucing pasar sama kuscing persia dengan harapan anknya bakal jadi belasteran yang sangat oke' yang lately ditemukan kenyataan bahwa the persian cat amazingly was a fag cat. (homo)
Actually i secretely wants to pet a dog.Big fat dog like eun chan's ahjussi's dog in coffee prince serial.but yea.. tehre's a strict rule in my house about having a dog.hate tht much. huahh.. maybe i'll have one when i've been somewhere out there someday.......
oh ya just try to listen anyway by telepopmusik.it's awesome... ;).
that is the most un-magnificent feelin' anyone can feel.
(or maybe just me actually)
it's like you wake up in the mornin' with something in mind hanging all day in your head,and those things are kindly bothering your sentimental feelin.And I always convince my self, it's gonna be okay soon. But sometimes when right in the moment you're feeling this, the most thing that you crave is something that could completes your scattered puzzle don't you?
---- and though sometimes it's really hard for us through every single day with or every missunderstanding journey that we always met and maybe all those ignorance behavior that we made i won't lie that i always care maybe it's best for us if i back away and leave... ----
#1 "you can run away leave your books behind you but you should look back twice just to be on the safe side" #2 "in a big, big way i am really small i get off my feet but i'm still distant"
mew - 156 can't get the chorus out of my head
"don't you just love goodbyes?..." na na na na na..........
Leptop saya hilang. Iya my fake mac is gone, hilang, Lost, missing or what so ever the name.
agh,and now im too depressed to say any words or blow something up...:'( sometimes it still feels so unreal,and my heart is really not good about it. i feel fvckn upset! I know,there would be some purposes or something behind this lost.. i'm surely does,.. But i try super hard to take this easily.. yea,I've been through so many kind of loss.. and i know,i should be okay facing this, no matter what..
but....oh....,i put like loads of treasures in there,my works, my mp3s, my .......... ! im sure you absolutly know how it feels if you lost something that u care the most don't you? geez,i have to stop this mourning syndrome!
so my first lesson tht i figured out is : BACK UP DATA is fataly a MUST! * (donkey : my leptop. red)
So lastnight i hanged out with couple of friends at a very great place to 'thethek' (nongkrong in javanese),we chatted and laughed and talked about social shits in college ,and secretly discovered so many things tht we never knew before.haha and it was fun. Didn't realize my friend has already eaten up bunch of cigarettes.Then suddenly i took one of his, and asked him to burn it.And i was acted freakishly 'pekok'. Yes,Im not a smoker. And i wasn't acting to be a poser. I just wanna taste one full cigarette at that moment. (my first experience is when i was in first grade on hi school,i can only smoked about a half cigar,hahaha..yea pretty lame)
So then i smokeed...
smookeedd....
like a noisy boiling kettle (cuz i looked like an idiotic newbie, coughed all the time and they kept laughing me out ... geez,shut your freakn gob mates :P!)
it tasted pretty odd! And till now im still couldn't understand whre's the pleassure of smokin cigar. So im still straight on being a 'non smoking person'... (or you can call me weirdo or geek or anything i dont mind..)
sometimes i really need to get my ass out of my comfort zone
(bayangkan saja bahan leather putih dengan logo nike biru nyala agk shiny :P )
